Dysfunctional
by xFireWorx
Summary: AU. NanoFate. A dash of darkness. "To fall in love... with your gorgeous, slightly boy-crazy close friend that oh that's right also happens to be a girl like myself? I must be a masochist." Next part: Suzuka and Arisa and their exploits.
1. Masochist

I do not own _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha_. I suppose I should thank fellow author, _RadiantBeam_, for inspiring me with three (I believe) of her cracktastic stories. If you haven't read them do so now please.

Please enjoy--I would like for some feedback on this.

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It's the end of high school we are going to different colleges. We have our high school diplomas now and everything. I would go to one place, and she another. She would undoubtedly meet the so-called "_love of her life_" (if her current boyfriend didn't already qualify as "Mr. Right"), fall in love, marry him, and just remember me as that girl she used to know when she was young.

The hallways seemed to dim in our presence: her natural indifference, and my own warped cold kind crush the very shivering air between us that outlines our existences. I am fading. She's fading. We're fading. She turns her back to me. She's leaving…

No!

You can't leave!

You can't leave _me_!

…Well at least stay until these painful, green sensations that assail me finally decide to leave me alone. When that time returns when I was able to look at you with a friendly perspective, not this _strange_ one.

That callous, but beautiful, glare you give me… it's not making the feelings go away. Instead they're multiplying they're festering to the point of total consumption. I am going to do something _stupid_. I am about to do something hormonal. Something sinister…?

_Only in this world would loving another like this be __**siniste**__**r**._

That is the last thought I have as I pull her _back_ to me. The question of "is it too late?" is echoing back in forth between conscious and my logic. I watch her even _stupider_ boyfriend of whatever many months gawking out of the corner of my slowly closing eyes as I continue to grip her and lean in to do something far from friendly…

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**Masochist**

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* * *

I groan to myself as I notice that the clock says 5:06. I had a good two hours until my lovely alarm would ring on my cell. I've always wondered what it would be like to be awoken with the soft smile of one of my parents, or an elder sibling. I won't ever know. My mother was considered to be a prodigy in addition to being a rather well known songwriter, while my father was an infamous hit man.

On a day on summer break in between school years, my father had a compromise on a job that resulted in his death thankfully his body was recovered and buried, but it apparently revealed the location of my family. About a little less than a month later my mother was assassinated. They had just left her body there as a little present for us when we came home from school that day. My older brother and sister tried their best to make things okay. It still wasn't regardless. I'll never forget the image of my mom's crumpled body bleeding against her desk slowly turning all of her papers crimson. In an attempt to slightly atone for her death my siblings in the middle of the night they buried her next to my father.

My two older siblings, Kyoya and Miyuki, were also at the time training in combat undoubtedly to follow my father's footsteps to some degree. Since I was so much younger than them I was not considered to be a concern to my father's many enemies. I was left alone. The enemies targeted my siblings instead, who had left me as much money as possible, and then proceeded to flee to preserve their own lives and to continue to train. I was only about nine years old at the time.

No foster home would take me in due to my "violent background", and the government _conveniently_ averted their eyes as well. I worked underage washing dishes at a bakery that is owned by close family friends. A few months later, learning of my predicament, they attempted to adopt me. Arisa and Suzuka's parents had tried as well, but the government, finally getting involved stated each and every time:

_There are no files under the name: Nanoha Takamachi._

Apparently I didn't exist. I still don't know why. I had been enrolled in school up until that point so I was confused as to _how_ exactly a girl that didn't exist went to school. Thankfully though after I managed to save up enough money before I got evicted from our apartment. I moved to another significantly less expensive close-by one that was under my siblings' names that they had apparently left for me. My ultra-geek friend Yuuno _somehow_ at the age of ten years old managed to falsify my own files for future use.

I returned back to school and have been attending it since then. I've kept working at the same bakery as well, although now I am a manager of it, so I've been able to live comfortably to some extent off of my paychecks. The couple that works it are always caring and concerned about me. They sometimes offer me a larger paycheck or company out of sympathy, but I always refuse. I, Nanoha Takamachi, am perfectly independent and in control, and I've been alone from the start so I don't really know to be sad about my slight isolation. My friends have done a great job to keep me practically normal, and not isolated. For that reason alone I would happily do whatever it takes to keep them safe. If one of my father's enemies were to come after me I would voluntarily distance myself for their safety alone.

My life is a little dim, but in reality it is not so horrible. In fact, in a couple more years I think I will be able to renegotiate the 'ownership' of the apartment and start paying the rental fees _legally_ under my own names instead of sneaking around and using my siblings'. That part of my life will be in my grasp again.

Rising out of my ruffled bed, I walked into the bathroom that was connected to my bedroom and examined myself in the mirror.

The blue-fire that usually reflect back are not present. My eyes are so dull that they seem to take on a dull gray. I grip my messy auburn hair in vain to neaten it and trudge back to my bed. I lie there for a bit, in an almost futile attempt to return to slumber. I am more than hesitant for fear that I would relive that nightmare.

Those images replay in my mind, and the only thing that occurs to me is what an abomination the human mind, consciousness, and feelings could be. The mere idea of being left behind by Fate…

Fated before my family fell into chaos. When we had first met she was completely closed off from the world and she refused to interact with anybody in the slightest. We had originally met in a slight conflict over … something I can't seem to remember. The important part was: I got her to open up to me and we became fast friends, eventually best friends. I trusted her so much with my feelings, even though generally she was a proud and slightly callous person that _looks_ like she would laugh at your feelings. That's actually not true although she does her best to uphold that appearance. Now though, this is the first time I've ever had feelings that I will _never_ share with her because it would definitely be the last time I would be able to.

My ruby-eyed friend was _always_ the one that always held me when I cried myself sick over my parents, but I never told her what had happened to my family. She never asked either. She understood that I was in pain and that's all she needed to know to comfort me. I do feel badly though when I think of excuses to tell her when she wants to come over to my house to avoid the inevitable question of my parents _actual_ whereabouts. I don't think she would be too happy if I told her, "about six feet underground".

Our friendship is a tad strange. People in school are always surprised to hear that we're friends. That's probably because we never seem to have any time to talk seeing that we never really have classes together anymore… or maybe the fact that we tend to sort of be a little _abusive_ to one another whenever we come into contact. Okay, so it _is_ mostly I doing the abusing part—It's not my fault that she acts so superior and infuriating all the time! The occasional "love tap", and shove into a locker isn't really going to kill her. I've always wondered though why she just takes it instead of ever fighting back. She is never short of cold comments to hurl at me however. Both sides are pretty well justified, but we've still got into many fights just over that alone. Our fights get pretty ugly too, we don't talk, look, or even acknowledge each other if we were to be within the same vicinity at all. I _always_ start the apology first probably because I'm more emotionally affected, and that hurts. Our friendship feels so one-sided. She's seen me cry countless times while I never have in my life. We're just different like that.

In addition to that, we appear to have nothing in common socially regarding. Fate is invited to _all_ the parties-even the upperclassmen ones, she gets decent grades, and she stolen the hearts many a boy. I, on the other hand, occasionally see a movie with my friends if I'm feeling up to it, go to work, maintain the apartment, and try to make sure I maintain my straight A's so I can get into college with an academic scholarship. Needless to say boys are not even in the equation, and from what it looks like they'll _never_ be.

Some invisible force binds Fate and I to each other. We rarely hang out with the same people and the only time we're really together in school is when we compete for the tennis team as doubles partners. That's where we keep our connection I suppose. When it comes to being an athlete that's where Fate and I stand on equal ground. I had exceptional aim precision, skill, and power while Fate could maneuver around the court and alarmingly fast speeds and finesse.

I feel like the distance between us has grown larger. Before she had that current _boyfriend_ of hers I used to talk to her on the phone and through text messaging all the time. Now she never has time for me, and she has been sticking with her newer friends lately. I can't blame her. They probably all have more in common with her than I _ever _did. I know that we both probably have changed, but I can feel that hers is more significant than mine.

Her concern for her social status has increased over the years and so has her need to _constantly_ have a boyfriend. She is becoming exactly one of those broken girls I scoff at. I say all of this negative stuff towards Fate and yet… I still can't help but to love her. I hope her avoiding me would have anything to do with the fact if she were to catch on to my feelings. Although those chances of her actually not catching on are slim, she can always read me like a book. Seeing that it literally took Arisa and Suzuka a _day_ to figure out with whom I had fallen in love with it should not really surprise me that Fate has figured it out too. I bet she is disgusted.

Should I really worry so much about this? Is it really worth worrying about… compared to all the other shit in my life I deal with? Can these insignificant romantic thoughts take precedence in my mind? Can't I distract myself? Put these feelings away? Make them irrelevant—keep myself from becoming the ultimate cliché? _But this is different … because it's about Fate_. I let my deadened eyes glaze over pondering for a few spare moments.

That's it. I need to go to sleep. I'll be fine. I'll work my way on through like I do with everything else. I'll be totally fine. That nightmare will never come to pass either so I shouldn't fuss over it either. I'll definitely be fine. Isn't a nightmare only a masochistic dream? That makes sense. After all, I must be a masochist myself…

To fall in love? No, not so bad I'll admit. It is considered to be a normal part of growing up.

But…with your gorgeous, popular, boy-crazy close friend that _oh that's right_ also happens to be a girl like myself?

Hopeless. Indeed. I still feel emotions, but only the rough, bleak ones. I _obviously_ enjoy the emotional wear and tear that accompanies this unrequited love. I haven't laughed in the longest time. A tough break from _Fate_… although I shouldn't expect any less…

* * *

I had just taken the hardest chemistry test of my life and I fought back the inevitable stinging of my eyes and the quake of my knees as I made my way out of the classroom to Arisa and Suzuka's lockers for their comfort. They had just taken the same test the period before and they probably did not fare much better than me.

This year all of the grades' lockers were not in the same general area. Mine was located near the cafeteria and most of the people I knew had lockers by all of the history classrooms. The very place I was heading to.

I drag myself off to Arisa's, Suzuka's, … and Fate's lockers.

I don't really like going to this area anymore whenever I am over here I feel like it's just an excuse to be within vicinity of Fate. I may be absolutely lovesick, but I'm still trying to salvage my pride. I can't help but shiver as I approach because for the first time in my life _this is something I can't just control and worry about all on my own._

Arisa and Suzuka are a bit late. They sprint back to their lockers to get their lunches. I wonder if they're okay…?

* * *

I sigh and lean back against Arisa's locker and I sink down to my butt. I can't help but to want to slam the back of my head against the lockers until I bleed myself dry of the poisonous thoughts of this tainted love.

Tilting my head back I see Fate walk stiffly by. I raised my hand in an attempt to greet her, but she trounces on past me face unreadable.

"Geez, what's wrong with her?" I say out loud.

"Well… actually I heard that she just broke up with her boyfriend…" Comments Suzuka from behind me. Oh of course that makes sense. She's probably devastated. Not for long—I'm sure some other "dashing guy" will just sweep her off her feet like always. I turn around preparing myself to admonish her for making me wait so long and to ask where she and Arisa was. I notice that they are both relatively red from …_exertion_. I close my mouth. When you know something, you can never "un-know" it. I figure I'm better off not knowing for sure.

Arisa, standing next to Suzuka, rolls her eyes at my impish awkwardness at the mere mention of Fate _having_ a boyfriend. I offer her a smile to let her know that I'm okay with it… sort of. Arisa nods and grabs her lunch and starts walking towards the cafeteria, signaling to Suzuka and I that we should follow.

I'm not hungry. I haven't been really hungry or have had any desire for food for the past few months. Better known as: _when I realized I was in love with Fate_. Suzuka understood my sentiments without asking, regardless of that she still gives me a worried look and continues after her lo—_friend_ in the direction of the cafeteria. I stand stupefied and blank. I realize that I'm the only one left in this dimly lit hallway. A rare thing in this rather large public institution I attend.

* * *

I _thought_ I was alone. I was incorrect.

A sharp pain flashing across my cheeks wakens me from my love-induced stupor only to see the very person whom was responsible for it in the first place.

"Fate…" I breathe out looking at her darkened face as I bring my hand up to feel my own bruised and red cheek.

"Were you _ever_ going to tell me? Am I the last one to know?" Her voice comes in such a quiet and deadly tone, but it was far from steady. Breathtaking nonetheless. Wait. Oh shit. She knows I love her? She must be disgusted. No wonder she's upset. My vision blurs slightly. I need to cover up somehow.

"Ummm ….I can explain…" I fail. I can't help but look down to avoid angry crimson eyes.

"How can you possibly explain this Nanoha?! I thought we were friends, and yet you never told me about your parents! If we were really so _close_… why would you let yourself hold all of that in … alone? How could you do this to yourself? … how could you do this to me?" She chokes and gasps out. I'm glad she didn't figure out my feelings, but the fact that she somehow heard about my parents before she could hear it from me makes me less than joyful. She legitimately is in pain all for me that makes me want to break.

I look back up from the ground in order to make sure this overly emotional, openly compassionate being is _Fate_. I don't want to believe it.

Oh Fate, your eyes crash into mine. The floor shakes. Your hands slowly grip my lifeless ones hanging loosely by my side. I believe you now. I realize how cold my hands were, how cold my heart was to you—shutting you out without a moment's notice. Petrified.

"I'm not worth it," I mumble. You pull me in close to you and for the first time in my life I notice. "…Fate why are you crying?" Fate is suffering because I won't forgive myself for loving her. She's trying to be a good friend and share this abominable feeling of being crushed without knowing the true depth of it. So, Fate please stop. Fate, please don't cry. I force a sob down. Otherwise I'll cry too.

"Nanoha," The tone of voice you're using right now is so nostalgic. It's the voice of the Fate I know. "If you weren't worth it… would I be here holding you right now? Would I be crying for you? Would I have broken up with my boyfriend for daring to slander you when he heard the news…?" Fate, I don't deserve to be your friend, let alone ever to be loved by you. Loving a masochist like me is impossible.

"Fate, why would you," tears are raining down my face too now, "go so far for me?"

Our eyes locked and before I knew it I saw stars as you lean in to kiss me hard. I close my eyes in acceptance and timidly kiss back. I can feel the burning of my face increase. The metal of the locker doors behind me are starting to press into my back uncomfortably. We both run out of air, and I sway to fall in your arms my panting in synch with your own. The incredible thing though is that even though you just did something as daring and audacious as kissing me in a public place…

"N-Nanoha," you begin to stutter like you did when we were small. "You saved me from myself when we were younger, and that's when… I fell for you. I've only had eyes for you, but I never thought you would accept it. I tried my best to be happy with someone else. I-It only reminded me though of _how damn badly_ I wanted **you**! Only you. Nanoha…" She lets her hand drift over to my head and she lets my hair down. She brings her hand back to my bruised cheek and caresses it. She grasps my chin and tilts my head up forcing our eyes to crash into each other once again. "… I love you so much." She leans back and closes the distance between our lips. I decide to actually react this time. I can't help but think that by the time this day is over I'm going to know a lot of astrology.

We kiss for the next few minutes until I realize something. I push her away from me a little which instigates a whine from Fate. "Shh Fate," I say soothingly wrapping my arms around her neck. "You didn't let me say my part: Fate, I love you too—even if you're a silly, overeager little thing."

"Nanoha forgot greedy. Nanoha is mine." She growls back me and I smirk back knowingly. I didn't hear, though, the startled gasps of Arisa and Suzuka as they walked in on us. Oops. Nyahahaha.

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	2. Exhibitionist

Okay so I **lied**. This is a slight follow up (you could say) to Masochist, but in reality it's just silly fluff. Sorry I'm not feeling the angst. It is most certainly _not_ from Fate's point of view. This mini-series of stories has been renamed as Dysfunctional to better suit the content. This one is obviously meant to be silly. I can't do serious for too long. Sorries. Here's to my actually writing again! Hoorah!

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The black mechanical pencil balances on my nose ever so slightly. Suzuka still madly scrawls away at the remnants of her history poor test. I didn't think that she would take _this_ long on a pretty straightforward test. I am beginning to regret promising her that I would wait for her after I finished. My history teacher glances at me confusedly as it is clear that I am finished with his test, yet I haven't handed it in and left like most students would. Well I'm not most students , and if he doesn't like it... too freaking bad!

Another scrape on the floor is heard as yet another student leaves, and I'm still _here_... waiting. The countdown begins: twenty minutes left in the period. Lunch is next. I'm starving. I look Suzuka over to see if she is close to finishing, and she shifts uncomfortably against my blatant leering. I don't have too much of an appetite for _food_.

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**Exhibitionist**

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"Eep! Arisa what are you-"

This was the last coherent word I allow Suzuka to say before I smash her up against the door of the girl's bathroom (conveniently located nearby our lockers). I kiss her quickly then bite down on her neck with enough force to make my secret-girlfriend's eyes tear up a tad. Nanoha won't notice a hickey here or there. Suzuka squeals a bit too--something I find to be impeccably adorable.

Then I feel a hard shove distancing me from her. That was not so adorable.

"Get away from me, Arisa! You-You stupid exhibitionist! I told you! Not. In. School."

"Why the hell no-"

A powerful blow once again makes contact this time with my … tummy. I'll admit that perhaps I shouldn't have argued, but I don't think it warrants a _kick_ as a response. I'm pretty sure my girlfriend of two months just judo kicked me to the other side of the of the girl's room. I think I'm dying due to the new _dent_ in my stomach. That's love for ya!

In immense pain I roll over on my back to see droplets hitting the dingy tile from twin sapphires. I'm really dying now. I watch her hand gripping the metal door handle, but I stop her by way of crawling across the floor and grabbing her ankle. I understand that I'm desperate, but I'm also madly in love… even if I _do _have a slight problem with keeping my hands to myself _especiallyinpublic_.

"Don't leave yet! Look, uh, can you just help first—I don't wanna have to explain to the maintenance guys why I'm lying half dead in the bathroom," After a bit of a struggle I'm staggering on my feet once again. It was nice not being on the dirty cold linoleum. Unconsciously I lean into her as I finish regaining my footing and she flinches badly while giving me the _look_. Oh shit! I need to apologize like the wind! "W-Wait I'll stop—I promise! Maybe I should start taking birth control to control my hormones—no that wouldn't work those increase hormones. Imagine what I would be like if I took tho-," a finger to my lips. That's Suzuka's nice way of telling me to _shut the hell up_. I comply.

"Are you still feeling hurt from where I, um, kicked you?" She bit her lip awaiting my answer. The guilty look is painted all over her beautiful face.

"Nah, I'm totally fine. I'm pretty much invincible so don't worry about it."

"You're invincible…? So that's why you're were just crawling around on the floor. Hmm," she giggles. Ouch! Busted there!

"… Are we okay now?" Shut up. I know I'm whipped. The light smile I get from her indicates that we most likely are.

"Yes"--she takes a step closer to me and kisses me on the cheek--"we're perfectly good now. I'm sorry I attacked you, but you really need to stop pouncing on me after class. You _know_ how the school feels about PDA."

A brilliant idea surfaces. "So, can we make up?" I can't help, but smirk even though though I won't get the answer I want.

Immediately Suzuka regards the floor instead of my face, and in speaking of faces hers is looking quite colored. I smile triumphantly to myself knowing that I was the reason why she was so flustered and cute. "O-Okay," she says softly and she finally looks up at me. She is so cu-WHAT?! Did she just approve? Did she just roll her eyes at m--ah I think I'm in heaven.

A few more not-so-chaste kisses later I remember something, more like a someone. Oh yeah, _Nanoha_. "Suzuka," I pant "Didn't we say we'd meet Nanoha for lunch? You know she is having a hard time with Fate still..." The intense glow and sense of domineering in Suzuka's eyes abruptly remind me why I'm actually the submissive one in the relationship. I also realize that I picked a bad time to _talk_. Suzuka must have quickly flipped into one of these moods of hers. Not that I can say that I mind...

"Nanoha," she breathes hotly into my ear as now _she_'s pushing _me_ back against the door of the bathroom. "Can wait."

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End file.
